Una mattina di merda
by HeroicBonnie
Summary: An inside look on Luciano's and Allen's morning. Allen breaks the TV and Luciano is not happy. Also, a surprise visit from Matt! 2p!AmeIta. Rated T for cussing.


**Lot's of cussing. You have been warned. 2p!America x 2p!Italy. Hope you enjoy! xx ~Ash**

**xXxXx**

"Fucking piece of shit!"

Allen threw the remote at the old television. He missed and the remote ended up on the floor in pieces. He grumbled and angrily went to pick it up. "Stupid fucking TV. Can't you fucking work for once?"

He banged his fist on top of the television hoping that it would work. Sadly, it didn't and the TV screen was still off. Allen huffed and looked at the now broken TV remote. Shit, Luci is going to kill him. He just sighed and threw the remote in the garbage. "Maybe I'll go steal a new remote tomorrow. And a new TV."

He glared at the devil box. All he wanted to do was watch some football (American, not that pansy ass European football Luciano likes) before Luciano wakes up. Luciano always hogs the TV and Allen barely gets any time to watch the shit he likes. Fucking hell he's gone _soft_. This whole TV situation is so fucking domestic it makes him wanna puke. He looked at his nail covered baseball bat. "Maybe I need to go bash someone's head in. That always toughens me up."

"Since when are you _tough_?"

Allen scoffed. "Since I fucked your brains out last night."

"Just because you _top_ doesn't mean you're tough."

"Oh doll face, that's exactly what it means~"

Now it was Luciano's turn to scoff. "Meat head."

"Hate to break it to you doll, but I don't eat meat~"

Luciano rolled his eyes and continued his decent down the stairs. He headed to the coffee table in front of the couch and made a grab for the remote. However, he stopped when he found that the remote wasn't in it's usual spot. He looked under the table and couch cushions but couldn't find it. Allen just remained by the TV, arms behind his back and an innocent look on his face.

Defeated, Luciano turned around and crossed his arms. He glared at Allen who gave him a big smile in return. Luciano wasn't buying it. "Were the fuck is the remote?"

Allen shrugged. "I don't know."

A knife whizzed past Allen's head and landed in the wall. He gasped and stepped back, staring at the knife. Luciano stood behind him with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"Where's the fucking remote?"

"Seriously, do you hide knifes in your asshole or something?"

"Allen, _Where's the fucking remote?"_

"I'm surprised I haven't stabbed my dick in there yet."

"DAMMIT ALLEN WHERE'S THE FUCKING REMOTE YOU STRONZO!"

Luciano pulled another knife from thin air (European's and their fucking mind games) and aimed it at Allen's head. Allen put his hands up in defeat. "Alright Alright! It's in the fucking trash!"

Luciano didn't lower his arm and glared at Allen. "And why is it in the fucking trash?"

"The stupid TV was being a bitch and stopped working. I got mad and kinda, threw the remote at the wall."

"Fucking hell Al that's the third one this month!"

"Well tell the TV to stop PMSing and work for fuck's sake!"

"Don't try to blame the fucking TV!"

"Why?! It deserves to rot in TV hell! Old piece of shit…"

"It's not even fucking noon and you already broke something, shit face!"

A loud bang was heard at their front door. "Would you two shut the hell up! People are trying to sleep!"

It was Matt, Allen's brother and next door neighbor. "It's eleven you lazy asshole!"

"Exactly! Your guy's loud fucking kept me up last night! NOW SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE'S AND LET ME SLEEP! You two are like violent rabbits I swear…"

Matt's voice drifted away and they heard a distant bang from next door, signaling Matt went back home. Allen looked back at Luciano and smirked. "So… make up sex?"

Luciano smirked back. "Fucking hell, I can't stay mad at you stronzo~"

Needless to say, Matt didn't get any beauty sleep that day.

**xXxXx**

**Can you imagine Luciano hiding knifes in his ass? I can XD. **

**Translations:**

**Stronzo: asshole**

**(Title) Merda mattina: shit morning**

**I think. I don't speak Italian so I hope those 3 words are right. If not then please tell me.**

**America is my favorite hetalia**** character but 2p!Italy is definitely my favorite 2p character. I don't know he's just so... hilarious. Like, you see Italy, and then you see 2p!Italy and you're just like 'How the fuck are these two the same person?' It's hilarious. I think it's hilarious. That's with every 2p really but, I don't know, I just find it funny with Italy. I probably don't make any sense. If you understand where I'm coming from then bless you.**

**Only Allen would insult a TV. Also, I have no problem with European football (soccer). I just imagined Allen hating it because it's not real football or something**

**I hoped you enjoyed this shit storm of a story. It's fun to write profanity XD. ~Ash**


End file.
